So I'm back from school, though still doing work since my computer was stolen. I figured that with less stress I would be happier since school was making me physically sick with stress, but it just seems that there is no way of making me happy.

What I need is to get away from everything. I'm tired of being around ignorant brain-washed people, I'm tired of doing the same thing every day, I'm tired of being trapped in America, I'm tired of being tired. All I want is to live; to exist. To experience new things, since that is in essence what the human existence is all about.

Being tied down by a pessimistic "you'll never be able to do that" family doesn't make things any better. I can't afford to leave on my own now but I can't afford to be wasting my life away like I am now either. I mean, life is short. I'm only 20 and already I feel as if my life is coming to an end. It feels as though I was just born yesterday...like I missed out on the first 20 years of my life because it has no meaning in it. And it seems that every single person I see is so caught up in their tiny little worlds that they can't even see past it. And they can't! America is so blind that they can't even see past their white picket fence anymore. I feel like I'm living in Barbie land where everything is perfect, everyone is plastic and happy, and nothing can go wrong. It's unbelievable how unrealistic everything is! And of course I should be happy that I was born where I was and that I'm not in poverty or starving, and yes I am grateful of that, but I just can't be a part of something that is so evil, corrupt and blind. We're just expected to listen to the government, chew on that bone they threw us and be good little doggies. But I just can't do that. I only wish I knew how I could get out.

I have so much more I could say but it would take days to clear my head, and nobody would want to hear what would come out anyway. So my thoughts will end here for now, forever floating in the endless monster we call the internet.